Chemo sucks

Let me start by saying; my, how poignant I can be in the middle of the night high on ambien! I will be 100% honest and say I actually don't remember writing most of it, so that was completely from my subconscious.

And also, note to self; "save as draft" to reread later before publishing a post in the middle of the night.

To the point of this post though. I've only had the first pill of my chemo last night. Today was pretty rough. I didn't sleep well last night (you can tell by my 1 am thankful post). Thankfully, I'm not nauseous. I take anti-emetics for that. Morning routine with the kids was not too hard and everyone got off to their places on time.

I'm just TIRED. When "they" say it can cause fatigue, they don't mean the "I didn't sleep well so I'm tired" fatigue. They mean "shit, I can't walk up these stairs" fatigue. It's intense. With 2 cups of coffee, I pushed myself through 2.5 hours of work this morning to finish up a project from yesterday and then, by some miracle, was able to drive myself home safely. I slept for 3 hours and woke up semi-refreshed.

Tomorrow, I'll be trying to make it through a training from 1-5pm. I'm hoping that by taking a nap in the morning after the nanny gets here, that I'll be able to make it through. I cancelled my mom's night out dinner plans for tomorrow night. I will probably have to take some more time off from work on Friday as well. I already told Charles he's basically on his own for the weekend holding down the fort. Read into that: if you want to come hang out and play with kids, bring a freezable meal, do dishes, or fold laundry, that'd be AWESOME!

I had no idea what to expect with this. I still don't. I'm not sure if the fatigue will build on itself and/or linger after I'm finished. I have learned this one lesson though: absolutely no extra curricular activities during chemo week.