As time grows near

I shouldn't have done it but I was up really late last night, reading brain cancer blogs. I'll admit, this time I'm more nervous about the upcoming treatment than I was before the surgery, or at least nervous a lot earlier. The treatments aren't for another almost 2 weeks, however, the more I read about them, the worse it seems. Everyone hears about how cancer patients go through hell and I heard about all the side effects from the specialists, but reading first hand experiences really hits it home. It will be a hard 6-8 weeks and then another hard 6 months. I'm doing this to extend the time before regrowth, I want to be around for my family for a long time. I will also admit that it freaked me out when some of the blogs had a final entry from family members that the person had passed away, although encouraged that some of them were after 7-10 years.

We may need to fire up the care calendar again. I may be able to drive myself to my appointments, but I also may not. We're hoping that I remain seizure-free, but the treatment does cause some brain swelling so we really won't know until a few weeks in. It might also exacerbate my headaches so if I'm on pain killers, my reactions might be dulled which means I probably can't drive until it wears off. I could probably wait until after the treatment appointment to take the meds though so really we just need to see how it goes first. It's about 1.5-2 hours round trip 5 days a week. My appointments are only 20 minutes long once I get there and it's about 15-20 minutes each way drive. I already have them scheduled for 10am most of the time and one week of 11am (due to the machine's schedule) starting on August 19th. That gives me time to still walk G&L to school before leaving every morning, which we were trying to work out with my work schedule anyway.

C's 30th birthday is at the end of the month. I feel badly that he'll always remember his 30th birthday as the time his wife started radiation and chemo, but there's really no way around it. I'm just going to try to do something fun so that it doesn't pass by almost unnoticed.