This is not for the faint of heart

Yesterday was a rough day for me. I wasn't able to hold down anything to eat or drink all day. Thank goodness for good people that drove me to my appointments because I wouldn't have been able to take myself. I took my puke bucket to the radiation appointment and talked to the doctor after (that doesn't happen every time). She said my sudden onset of new headache, that wouldn't respond to my pain meds, and severe nausea could be due to brain swelling from the treatment, so I'm now on low dose steroids for a few days until the symptoms disappear. If they come back after I've weaned off, I may have to be on them longer term.

By the time I went to my appointment at 2:30pm, I was in really bad shape. I had kept down the steroid, a few sips of gatorade, and 3 bites of mashed potatoes so far all day. It took 3 needle sticks to get their blood work (my normally small veins were even smaller). The P.A. took one look at me and said we should do an IV with anti-nausea meds and a full bag of saline fluids. We worked out a new system for my daily nausea meds too, so I have new prescriptions. They had a hard time starting the IV too, so all in all, I had my arms poked 5 times yesterday and I'm feeling it today. I was resting in their chemo chairs for about 2.5 hours surrounded by people getting iv meds much stronger than mine (iv chemo). By the end of the first hour, I was able to suck on hard candy. By the end of the 2nd, I could eat a bag of rice crackers I had brought with me in my purse. I think I should keep my crochet bag with me, in case I need to do that again. That would be a great time to pass the time, other than playing on my phone and wondering when it would run out of battery.

When I got home, thanks to a ride from a wonderfully kind person, I wolfed down a full container of Simply mashed potatoes and half a jar of gravy (kept it all down btw). Charles and the kids had gone to get my prescriptions, so I had a few minutes to myself. Once they got home, it was obvious "the baby" hadn't slept that afternoon. She went straight up to bed and I read to Grace and Liam for a few books. Then it was my turn to go to bed. I was knocked out by 7pm and slept until 6am! I know every night won't be like that, but I'm so glad I was feeling better enough to get some good rest. For the 2 nights before that, I was up late trying not to, or actually throwing up.

This morning, my hair is starting to fall out. It's not in clumps like people imagine, at least it isn't yet anyway. I would compare it more to losing hair after pregnancy. You know when you're pregnant, your head grows hair thick and crazy fast, and holds onto every strand. Then when you have the baby, it's like "Oh, you were actually supposed to loose a little of it as we went along like you usually do, so here's those 9 months of hair you weren't supposed to hold onto." Charles reminded me this morning that it will probably be the opposite of that. I'll loose it all at once and then it will take 9 months to thicken up again. He's probably right.

Anyway, there's my update for week 3. Not a great one. When they said this isn't for wussies, they meant it. Luckily, we have rides lined up for almost all of my appointments from here on out, so I don't have to worry about if I have a bad night sleep (other than just the general worry of being tired) and Charles has said he'll be "on call" for the morning if I can't get out of bed to get the kids ready for school. I have more anti-nausea meds on hand, even some I can take without actually swallowing the pill. Hopefully, I won't be adding "sunburned" scalp to this list of symptoms! But I will deal with it if/when I do.

Continued prayers and kind thoughts are nice. I got a couple nice cards in the mail a few days ago which lifted my spirits. If anyone is around to play with the kids on Monday afternoons from 3-5pm, or any afternoon from 4pm-5ish, that would get great help for us. Charles has been getting in to work late from staying in later in the morning so he could use the extra hour in the afternoon to stay late. Some afternoons are just rough for me to have all the energy around and then cook dinner. On Mondays, it is the nanny's half day, so I take Ellie from her nap and walk to get the twins from school. So if people are around in the late afternoon that want to come play, that'd be awesome. Or if you want to drop off a meal any day, we'd really appreciate it (still garlic free, as a reminder). Thank you to everyone who has helped so far and are continuing to help now. It means a lot.