A new new do

So over the last few days, I've lost about 1/3rd of my hair. It was very very noticeable. Over the course of this whole disease, I've only cried a handful of times; when I first found out, a few times during post-surgical pain, this week when I couldn't eat or drink for 24 hours, and then yesterday when I actually started to feel sorry for myself.

So I decided to let myself feel bad, for like 15 minutes, and then do something about it. I went shopping and got a hat and scarf from Old Navy (thanks to my sister for a gift card). I cut up a couple t-shirts to make into head wrappings (go youtube!) and then decided to go drastic with my hair.

I had two very large gaps on either side of my head. I'm reluctantly going to post the before picture just to illustrate the severity of the loss. I decided to go "punk" for now as a big F U to brain cancer. I shaved the majority of my head and left a strip down the top for a mohawk. Then I did what I've always wanted to do, but was either too afraid to or was trying to stay professional; dyed it blue! So here's the pictures of before and after. Charles is amazing cause he did all this with me to show support!

Having my head covered makes the skin sensitive so I wanted it to change it to something that might be a shock for the kids, but at least not ever changing so I could let it air out a bit. "Stable"-ish, I guess. They were already used to the shorter hair. We had prepped them a lot about it and I had it short for a long time. This time was harder on them. We were all wearing bandanas and hats earlier today as a "bandana family" in solidarity.

I let them see my head after shave, before dye. Ellie wouldn't come near me (like when I got it chopped the first time). Liam kept asking for me to put the bandana back on. Grace likes it and is upset I won't do the same to her hair. Although they all do want the blue, which they can't have, cause apparently it'll stain stuff even after it's set.

I just wanted to write this post so that people who see me in the near future aren't taken by surprise. I'll be wearing head coverings in public most likely, but some of you will see me at home.

I also want to keep this blog as honest and forthcoming as possible so that when people like me go searching the internet for blogs about what's happening to them, they'll know they're not alone. And they'll know what one of their peers did about it.